Stuart

My oldest and most loved roommate!

McFly

Think McFly Think!

Sunny and Cher

I just wanted everyone to get acquainted with sunny and cher.

Thoughts for Now

It's almost lunch and I need to let my brain take a rest. I am still reading the Chronicles of Narnia which are fun. I love to see all the Christian undertones to the story and how obvious they are. The character of Aslan is my favorite, and for some reason in my head he has the voice of James Earl Jones. I guess The Lion King really did it to him, at least in my mind. Now, all the lions that talk that are in movies or books I expect them to have to voice of James Earl Jones. Silly right.

I went to the gym with Mr. Dynamite last night. It was an interesting experience mainly because I don't like the gym and I would only go on such an occassion like this one where I have the safety of a buddy. I only used one machine. I think that is the real reason why I don't like the gym, i don't really need the excess equipment. I did get a kick out of the endorphines (the Original High). Afterwards we went to Jamba Juice and ordered some really awesome shakes to drink on the subway. We are supposed to do it all over again on Thursday. I'm looking forward to it.

Moving On

I am really sleepy today. I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night. I am not allowing myself any more starbucks coffee to help me with this because I need to get back to my regular schedule and caffeine makes me edgy.

I had a semi ok weekend, nothing major happened. Only good thing I have to report is that I may be coming out of that mass circle of darkness that had taken over my head for a whole month. I still have rage, I guess I just direct it to the appropriate parties now instead of subjecting the whole world to it. I'm not fully out of it though, I think I may be in the grieving process now but I can't go into detail about that just yet. Not until I figure out exactly what I'm thinking/feeling.

On to fun stuff. The pickles came to pick me up at work on friday and then we went to get my eyebrows done and have some indian food. I love indian food, it's always so tasty, especially when you go to Jackson Diner in little india which makes all the difference.

Saturday I went to target with GM, I got some stuff that I needed and a new plant to replace Lil' Fella. I didn't mention it before but Lil' Fella died about two weeks ago. I didn't have that much faith in it when I planted it so it didn't come as a surprise to me when I found it all shrivled up and dead. My new plant I have named McFly in honor of the great trilogy of movies of back to the future and it's main character of Marty McFly played by Michael J. Fox. I'm a dork I know. I repotted Cher, which has now become Sunny and Cher since there seems to be a second mini-sunflower growing. They seem to be doing well. Like the real sunny and cher when the sang "I've got you Babe" on Live TV for the first time. After that I had another bout of depression but then decided to go to a party with Queen C which sucked anyway.

I ended the weekend by going to Chinatown for the Lunar New Year with Shaneequa, pal and Mr. Dynamite. The weather was not ideal so I didn't get to see much of the festivities. We had some bubble tea and most of Shaneequa's bothers came except one. We talked and drank and talked and drank. After that I got to visit temple for the first time. It made me feel good and grounded. Since it was my first time Shaneequa had to show me how to do stuff because I was just lost when i went in.

Anyway, I should really get to work now. I'm going to the gym tonight with Mr. Dynamite. Trying to get my "groove back" like stella did only minus the drama.

Rage-a-Holic

Seriously, I'm glad I know how to control my rage at work because people are really getting on my nerves.

1. Get a dollar and buy yourself some Organizational Skills! Why do I have to deal with a folder that contains two folders of stuff inside several other folders. You have a computer..Use it!This idea is of course outrageous in the land that time forgot, because it involves using something called "technology" and the subjects of said nation are very afraid that it uses some sort of black magic to produce something called "spreadheets".

2. Why do you insist on talking over people when they are trying to tell you something. Know when to shut the f*ck up and listen! Remarkable what one can do when our mouths are not busy talking nonsense and rambling on and on and on and on.....

Lawng Island

Yesterday I went to a seminar in "Lawng Island" with Granma Rose. I realised that it creeps me out when I go there. Living in the city I feel safe maybe because it's my comfort zone. I got out the train and had to get a cab to take me to the venue. The have the communal cab situation out on "the Island" so i ended up sharing with another guy. The man was set to be dropped off first, in a very desolate area of a huge mall parking lot. As we were going into this area the first thing going through my mind was that they were bringing me here to kill me and that I should probably take out my cell phone in case I needed to call 911. Nothing happened, the guy was dropped off and then I got taken to my destination.

The seminar was boring, lawyers talking HR law. Not only that there were some seriously annoying HR people in attandance. Mainly those that went with the whole department and asked stupid questions. One of the lawyers (which was also the only man in the room) fell asleep when the other one was talking. That was pretty bad. I felt bad for him, locked up in a room full of women all by himself. Out on a limb with crazy HR ladies. After the seminar I was driven safely back to the train station where I decided to wait in the waiting room since it was so cold. I got creeped out by a teenager that was listening to his mp3 player so loud it sounded like a stereo. That's not that part that creeped me out. He looked at me with a big smile on his face and when I went to sit down he kept on following me with his eyes. At that point I decided that it wasn't that cold and quickly exited the waiting area. In sum, lawng island gives me the creeps.

I am also going to report that I am no longer depressed (for now of course). I have moved on to the second phase: rage. This is a better phase to be in because now I just don't give a rat's ass and I feel like cursing a lot. Also, it allows me to release my anger by way of giving people dirty looks and saying nasty things to them all the time. This is only when I'm provoked of course. Otherwise I just mind my own business and go about my daily life.

New Blogger...Same Ol' Floatinghead

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce Mr. Dynamite's blog. He just started it yesterday and he is already hilarious. Please check it out, you can follow my link to Adventures in Afropea or just go to www.jujudigital.blogspot.com.

Yesterday was a bit of a rough day for me. Work was the usual, getting used to Granma Rose and her backwardness or should I say "slowness" amongst other things. After work I went to see Underworld with Mr. Dynamite and Shaniqua. That is such a guy movie. It's all grusome and dark and stuff. And, yes I was squirming, but that's only because all the scenes had blood and things killing other things and nasty yucky stuff all the time. The only thing that guys like about that movie is the fact that the chick runs around in a pleather outfit the whole time fighting weird creatures. Needless to say, her shoes were clunky and very unfashionable. Also, why does the bad guy were a skirt the whole time? We thought maybe it was a "Stella McCartney" couture skirt that he just refused to take off.

Tonight I will be spending the night at my parents because I have to take the LIRR first thing tomorrow to go to a seminar. They live closer to the station and I get free food there so might as well right. Hopefully that will take some of my edge off and I can undepress myself faster. I also think I should go back to normal eating habits and working out again before I hit a bigger slump. I don't want to fall of track of all the things I want to do this year and if I don't get cracking quick I'll fall behind fast. In any event, I have to go to a meeting in about 10 minutes so I need to wrap this up, will update again soon.

D'oh

I'm chewing on the toughest bagel in the world. I can't believe i'm eating this. I took the bus this morning in the hopes of changing up my routine a bit. I got off the subway a stop early, bought the "venti" cup at starbucks and rode the rest of the way into work on the bus. It was pretty painless but bumpy. At times it felt like a Great Adventures ride because I almost fell off my seat, holding my big cup of coffee and my big book of Narnia. I'll have to watch out for that big curve next time.

FYI: Depression, still on. I went home last night and in the hopes of keeping my mind off things I started cleaning my apartment which as you all know is way over due. I made some progess but there is a long way to go. I made myself a tuna sandwich for dinner and then watched some TV until i felt it was time to go to bed. Once I got to bed I started thinking about crap again so I had to take a stop and read some more narnia until I was too tired to keep my eyes open. I have about 4 hours of sleep on me right now.

I think I might go see underworld with the gang tonight but they have to confirm what the story is. If not then I have to maintain my brian occupied, somehow.

Monday Morning Blah

It seems to me that the world is just set out to annoy me today. I think it is just their duty, the woke up today and said if I run into so and so I will do my best to annoy her. My family just woke up and said, I am going to go out of my way to annoy so and so.

I know it's not the world, it's just my mood. I've fallen into the depth of my depression which hasn't happened in at least 2 years. I can't bring myself to discuss it anymore, I just need to get over it. I'm glad I have good friends that try their darnedest to help, but I need to help myself. On top of being depressed, I get mad at myself for letting me fall into this again. I have to formulate yet a new master plan to get over this.

This weekend was a mix of tears, bad mood, and me trying to seem like i'm not in a bad mood (which only takes me so far). Friday I met up with Delirum and the Suparep for drinks and talking. After that I went home and fell a sleep. I was so tired, but that doesn't mean I stayed a sleep, I woke up a few times as usual. Saturday I ran some errands and took a long walk thinking it would help. I then took a nap and decided that maybe I should go out with Mr. Dynamite and friends. That proved itself unsuccessful. Sunday I met up with Magpie and Delirium for brunch and to work on a top secret project. We also went to 5th Avenue where I met with Prada and Sephora since my friend Tiffany was closed. Shopping also proved unsuccessful.

Ok people I'm running out of ideas here.

Blog Time

I need a break, and what better to do than to update my blog. First order of business, work.

I am trying to build a database in access that will make my life a whole lot easier. My access powers are limited so I have called in This Bird, the master of all things web. With her help I'm sure I will make excellent progress. Grandma Rose and I are still adjusting to each other. It's hard when people first start working together to get into a follow. Basically she brought me in because i would bring in some new ideas and such, but she refuses to let go of the old. Oy Vey! I'm feeling a little better about the land that time forgot, mainly because I have located 2 starbucks franchises that allow me to sip my café in the morning. That makes all the difference as I can now interact with people. In other news, I have identified Touchy Feely Guy, which seems to be under the impression that sexual harrassment is cool. Besides the staring at my boobs, he has now graduated to poking to "see if i'm ticklish". Who wants to know if their co-workers are ticklish or not. Needless to say that he is weirding me out and that's not a good thing.

I also continue to be sleep deprived which poses a bit of a problem. I've been drinking Sleepytime tea to help me sleep and going to bed early to no avail. I continue to wake up a few times during the night which makes my body feel like it was run over by a truck. I think I keep hearing noises but it may be my imagination or the fact that when I wake up startled I'm not really awake. I have some plans for the weekend but I really have to reconsider since I need to take it a bit easy.

List Update

To all faithful floatinghead readers:

The list has now grown to 12 items. That means that I may not add any more things to "the List" of things to do this year. It's the same number as last year so I'm not worried, all I have to do is try my best.

Floatinghead World

It's a wonder that I'm still up. I had yet another bad night of sleep so I have not been officially sleeping well for about 4 days which in my world is a long time. It's really yucky outside but I made it to work after all. I have tons to do around the apartment because I really haven't been "home" per say, so if I thought the place was a mess before I won't even try to describe it now. I realize that my life is not anything interesting with the exception of my new social experiment. I won't go into it now, soon enough you will learn. For now I shall continue to run endless errands and try to get some sleep, although the possibility of snowtubing still looms for saturday, I am sure I will get something (anything) done before then.

I went to see Brokeback Mountain with Shaneequa & pal last night. It was good, I don't think it was the best movie ever made ever but it made it's point. Fun with Dick and Jane was in fact hilarious. I went to see that with Mama Pickle on sunday night.

Back in Business

I'm back in New York, and back to work. I got in around 4:30pm last night but since no one was available to pick me up at the bus stop I had to take the train home. I didn't actually get home until 5:30 pm and by that time my bladder was about to burst and I was thoroughly exhausted. I just plopped down on the couch and ate some more birthday cake in lieu of dinner.

I managed to squeeze in an arguement with my stalker last night. In the end we never make any progress, so I don't have much hope left. I really don't want to keep having the same arguement over and over again. That's that, on to other things.

I caught the Lincoln special that was on the history channel last night. It was very good and I am recommending it, they are having an encore this saturday i believe. Watching this last night made me think about slavery. It seems like such a remote and foreign concept to me. What is on my mind now is that I don't know who came up with this. Who in the world thought it would be a good idea to pluck people out of they country to use them in such a way? and who went along with it saying "well ok i guess they must be stupid since they don't act the same way as we do and since their skin is a different color"? Anyway, I think i will be doing more research on this. I also don't understand who came up with the idea of segregation and why they thought it would be awesome to make people use different water fountains based on skin color. It's hard to undertand the logic of different times. I guess that's what progress is all about. If anyone can recommend books or sites that will help me do some research please don't be shy.

Life is Suffering

Mini-Pickle made the biggest stink so early in the morning, poopie diapers are not my favorite things to smell at this time of day. As you can tell I am still out of the New York City area. I think my obsession with New York is growing. Last night I dreamt that I was in New York and I was meeting someone for coffee at Starbucks. Needless to say Starbucks id no where near here so you can't just walk over and get a cup for breakfast.

I've been thinking a lot as usual. I felt a bit sad last night for various reasons. This morning, before getting out of bed, I kept thinking about those things that made me sad. As as I thought more and more I realized that life is suffering. Yes we may be unhappy now, but this is not forever. We are not going to be in the same situation all the time. We have to beleive that someday at some point in time things will be different. The current situation is meant to teach us something and that once we realize what that is we can move on.

I'll be back home tomorrow. Soaking in the fresh air for one more day.

The weekend of MLK

Long weekend ahead. My bag is packed, my ticket purchased and I'm ready for some much needed pickle time. Mini-Pickle turns 1 tomorrow and there is a little celebration planned, nothing major, but as always I'm head picture-taker and must be there with ample time to prepare.

I learned a lot from reading the worry book. I am having some difficulties putting things into practice but eventually I think I will get there. I'm really looking forward to some quiet Maryland time this weekend. Hopefully I'll have time to reflect and get my act together. I've been a little off track lately since I was sick. I had to stop the Detox, I haven't been sleeping, etc etc. Maybe this weekend will put me back on track.

It's funny how a weekend that is dedicated to a person that made such a big difference goes by with so little fanfare. I know there are some remembrance ceremonies and things like that but you don't see them advertized anywhere until the day of. You don't see any TV commercials or anything as it relates to MLK. Maybe we just have to take it upon ourselves to discuss with out friends and educate others as to why this man was important and how he changed our culture.

Patience is a Virtue

I was fine this morning. Still a little sick and tired but otherwise, good. Commute was good and everything. Then I got to work. And I got annoyed, over stupid things too. Now I have no patience for people that I've given the same information to at least 4 times, no patience for stupid payroll employees, and no patience for anyone that can't notice that it's 8:55am and I still have my coat on so maybe they should come back later to ask me the same question they asked me yesterday.

I need to take a walk and take a deep breath. I guess maybe I'm just irritable because I'm still sick. I also want to share another section of the Worry Book that I thought was interesting:

Failures are but the pillars to success. To learn by our failures is to achieve success. To never have failed is never have won. Unless we experience failure and its attendent forces, we shall not be able to appreciate to the full a victory. It becomes merely a turn in events that is of little or no interest to us. Failures not only help us to success, but make us kind, sympathetic, understanfing and rich in experience.

We can interpret this in many different ways. I take a look at my life and things that have happened to me recently and I see the meaning of this short paragraph. Each experience we have, either positive or negative, helps us learn and become better people. Understanding the lesson and applying it to our life is the key to building better experiences in the future.

The Search for Enlightenment

Not much going on so this is going to be a quick post. I'm still sick. Surprise, surprise, I'm at work. Taking cold medicine and stuff to see if I get better in time for Mini-Pickle's first birthday. Still searching for enlightment, as always. Worry book is a big help. I think I don't eat chicken anymore either which would make me a vegeterian. Will update when possible.

Quote

This is a paragraph from the book that I am currently reading called, Why worry? I think we can all learn from this:

What are you here for? What is the purpose of your life? Apparently very few children ever think if asking themselves this question. Indeed many people will go through their whole llives from birth to death and it will never occur to them to consider the matter at all. The result is that there is no development at all. They have allowed everything to happen to them instead of they, themselves, making things happen for themselves. Only very few have realised that the purpose of life is growth, progress from ignorance to enlightenment and from unhappiness to happiness.

Just some food for thought. I think this is the way I intend to lead my life, sometimes I just get off track and need a reminder. In any case, i'm off to bed. I have a cold and took some Nyquil and I think it's starting to work.

Why Worry?

So I set out to read Chronicles of Narnia which was the gift that my Kris Kringle gave me. I feel after watching the movie I might as well get the "real" version of events from Mr. Lewis himself. This after seeing Memoirs of a geisha which was truly dissapointing. I'm glad I read the book first and frankly nothing compares to reading. It's nice to see things brought to life, but the movie that you create with your own imagination is always best. The movie lost most of the main points of the book and was choppy at best. Even if you have not read the book you will be able to follow it and make sense of the story, but there is just no comparison. I strongly suggest reading the book first if you can.

Speaking of Narnia, I have set down the book for a while and have instead picked up Why Worry? by K. Sri Dhammananda. It's a book based on Buddhist beliefs that speaks of different aspects of our life and how we can get rid of all negative thoughts. I picked up this book because last night I couldn't sleep, mainly thinking about crap and I remembered Shaniqua got me this book and recommended I read it before bed time that way I can absorb it's meaning. So far it has a lot to say about our daily lives and it makes perfect sense.

Much Ado about Nothin'

Detoxification of my body has begun. Oficially I cannot eat any junk whatsoever. Yesterday was the getting used to this day. I went through the shock of not havng much sweets and eating only good for you stuff. After binging on cake, cookies and all that is bad for you, your body can really get used to it. Now it's all about tea and water, fiber and vegetables. It's only for about 2 to 3 weeks, then I get back to my healthy eating habits, running and yoga as usual.

Update on my roommates. Stuart is doing wonderfully of course. He just get's bigger and bigger by the minute. Now that he has the new pot, which is bigger, he has the potential to grow into something massive. Cher is actually growing out now. I have one little thing poking out of the soil, and it has roots. I hope it turns out to be a pretty sunflower that I can transfer to another pot but I don't know if it has the power to do that. It's a mini-sunflower so I may just have to keep it in the little pot. Lil' Fella not my pride and joy at this point. It gave me hope last week with one leaf that was looking good and healthy. Now, that same leaf is dark and dry (even though I put enough water int it). I think the roots were too dry to begin with so they might not be absorbing the water. I'll give it another week or so, then I'll consider chucking him and getting a new plant.

I finally got around to watching "Madagascar" which was funny but not sooo funny. I guess I just didn't think too much of it because there have been so many great animated films lately, and after all there will never be another Finding Nemo. I also took it upon myself to sit through "The terminal" with Tom Hanks. OMG! how boring is that movie, in the end nothing made sense. Nobody told me or forced me to watch it so I can't blame anyone else. I can blame Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks for making a horrible movie. I was so surprised to see the spielberg name at the end, I scratch my head and thought I was hallucinating. I say to myself "speilberg did that!"

I am here in the land that time forgot today and I am plotting and being my usual self. I need to figure out what is better for my career in the long run. Right now, I'm bored because it's all very mundane and I haven't gotten the go ahead to start on some projects that I'm interested in implementing. I do know that I want to go to grad school and maybe a low pressure job will help with that but in the end, my mind needs to be constantly stimulated otherwise I get bored and start, well you know, thinking about stuff.

It's O-V-E-R

The holidays are over. atleast for me that is. Now i can breathe and concentrate on my various obsessions.

GM eneded up coming over last night so it was just the 2 of us. We drank wine and played scrabble. Bad combination!we had fun and kept each other company which i think was the whole point. we were at home, comfortable and crowd free. Today I did an awful lot of nothin'. When we woke up we decided to go to Starbucks for coffee and then we went to home depot. I finally bought the doorknobs and it turns out the task is not as easy as it may seem. I called reinforcements which are coming tomorrow. After lunch I took an awesome long nap. Hence the reason I am still up bright eyed and bushy tailed. I can't get to sleep, because I'm not sleepy.

Got to tell you though that I'm a little concerned. I think my bank may be stealing money from me. I just balanced my checkbook and it seems that for the 4th month in a row they have 9 dollars and 8 cents less than me. I wouldn't be much of an issue otherwise but for the past 3 months i just went ahead adjusted the amount and started at the same level as the bank. Guess what it's been happening every single month now for 4 months so that means it's 36 dollars and 32 cents now. Even stranger is that it is the sameamount every month. So now I am going to look for my statements and make sure i have every transaction down. Then I'll call then and give them an ear full.

No plans for tomorrow except start the detox and put in the new doorknobs. I don't want to do much, i'm such a lazy bum i'll be just taking naps all day.