The Ultimate Eve

Today is the day. I finally got over the fact that i practically have no concrete plans. Thus far it is 3 o'clock and plans have been made and broken about 5 times. From my experience this is a sign that I should stay home and just call it a day. I did manage to make it to my dermatologist appointment, get my nails done and clean up around the apartment so I think it's been a successful day. I also managed to upload a year's worth of pictures into my computer, now I have to distribute them which tends to be the hard part.

My wheels are already churning thinking about the new year and all the possibilities and all the work that lies ahead of me. I am starting to strategize about my job possibilities, school and other ventures I would like to pursue. Guess it wouldn't be like me unless I did this. First thing tomorrow i have to go grocery shopping because i cannot even begin to detox with all the junk i have in my fridge now. that's it for now. hope everyone had a good holiday! at least I got an extra day off out of this.

Crying Game

I'm trying really hard not to cry. The whole New Year's Eve thing is getting on my nerve. I hate this stupid holiday every year is the same thing. Last year I cried and then I got to hang out with all the married people that seem to go out of their way to make you feel as though you're less than because you don't have anyone.

I just feel like crying today.

bad lesbian smelly girl

Ok I don't have a boy to play with currently which is fine. I haven't lost complete hope that I will one day find one and move on with my life. So I was talking to shaniqua about boys and being as she doesn't have this problem (since she is a lesbian) I think it's hard for her to sympathize. So I said to her Maybe I should become a Lesbian?! and she blurts out to me that I would make a horrible Lesbian, and would bring down the whole community because I'm "too girly". Ok, why the hate. True it would be a problem because I like boys, I don't like girls that way but "too girly". Fine, it will never work but hey at least I like to have options.

I also feel like I smell. I have never smelled, never been told that I smell, and I am a really clean and well groomed person. Yesterday though, i got the strange sense that I smelled and I needed to go home to take a shower. Maybe it was because it was so hot in the office that I was sweating all day just sitting in my chair. By the time I left I felt almost de-hydrated, smelly and yucky. Oh well, that's that. It's not hot in here as of now. We'll see after lunch.

Motto For Life

That's why I'm gonna
Say goodbye to all the tears I've cried
For every time somebody hurt my pride
Feeling like they won't let me live life
& Take the time to look at what is mine

I see every lesson completely
I thank God for what I got from above

I believe they can take anything from me
But they can't succeed in taking my inner peace

Year End stuff

I can't seem to stay asleep these days so I always wake up at about 3:30am for no reason. Saty up for a few minutes and then go back to sleep. This has been making me really tired in the morning and I end up waking later than usual. This causes me to feel sick for a good part of the morning.

My life seems so much more mundane now. I'm getting used to not working in manhattan. That doesn't mean that I don't miss it because i still do. After the holidays I'm sure that I'll go back to my normal paranoid self and over analyze everything that happens in my life. I should also let you know that thus far I have 10 things on my 2006 List to some that may be a lot but since last year I had 12 I am allowing myself 2 open spots for some interesting stuff that might come along. I'm pretty lucky overall to be able to do all the stuff that I set out to do, that goes to show you, anything can happen if you just put your mind to it.

That's OK

Ok so now i'm pissed about the transit strike all over again. Since I wasn't able to come in on Tuesday I will now have to take an unpaid day. Originally we were told that the Land that time forgot would not penalize staff for the day. Well today they changed their minds and said that people that were unable to come in should use a vacation day. But guess what? I'm new so I have no time off. Technically I do have one day already but I don't want to use it, I want to save it for my vacation. Well, at least I got to do my laundry that day.

I also need to inform that my stomach hurts. I know it's because I've eaten so much junk over the holidays. Starting January 1st I will be doing detox for 2 weeks to clean my system and hopefully get back to eating right again. While I detox do not encourage me to eats sweets, or fast food or anything unhealthy (i.e. anything with caffeine in it or any alcoholic beverages).

Christnnukah Summary

In sum this is what I did these three days:

Friday

I went straight home from work. Big glamour night cleaning my apartment. I managed to make some progress and clean up a few things. Really I just picked up stuff and straightened out a few things. At this point my apartment started to feel lighter. I am a firm believer that a big mess around makes you discombobulated to I was happy to notice the difference so quickly.

Saturday

Oh the joy of Xmas eve. I got up and got to work on making cookies to bring over to my mom's house. I made gingerbread and chocolate chip. Then I pretty much just lounged a bit, killed time cleaning some more and then got ready and went to my mom's for xmas eve dinner. Overall we had a nice time, my sister and brother in law came over as well as Shaniqua and her niece Debbie. I got a step ladder and a certificate to home depot from my parents, and a dishrack from my sister. Santa Claus just isn't the same anymore. After dinner and some present opening Shaniqua, Debbie and I went to my apartment and hung out drinking tea and watching tv.

Sunday

I basically lounged in the morning and then went to my sister's house for a few hours. We then packed the car and did the go around to other people's houses. We ate their food and chatted and drank their liqour. That may explain why mys tomach still hurts till today. I got home at around 7:30pm and started cleaining my bathroom. From the looks of it I cleaned more than anything else this weekend, but it was necessary.

Monday

No cleaning for me yesterday. I met up for lunch with Magpie and then we went to Barnes and Noble and got some books. I think I need to get over my obsession with hard cover books and just realize that paperback is not that bad. I just think it's not a book unless it's hard cover. Then we went to see King Kong which in my opinion was pretty good. The overall story was captured well over all. The beginning was a little slow but the middle and the end made up for it.

Christmas Time...No More Strike

So yes the strike is over and I can get around without having to wait for other people. Awesome. My body is tired. I guess from all the back and forth. My neck, back all the way down to my "siatica" are tense and hurt a bit too. I'm sure I'll get to relax over the weekend.

I have made it my mission to get my apartment cleaned up before the New Year's Eve, so i'm making a list of everything I need to do to have a spotless apartment. I made holiday cookies for my co-workers today. They seem to be enjoying them but all I hear is that I'm not helping their diet. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve at my mom's house. I'm looking forward to that this year since I actually don't live there anymore.

Birthday Wishes

I would like to extend a Happy 21st Birthday!!! to D3, you know who you are. Now you are officially old and can't get away with stuff you could before. On the upside, now you can do all this great stuff that you couldn't before because you were "too young".

Anyway, my eczema is acting up again. It's really uncomfortable and itchy. I think it's a combination of the weather and the stress of not having the subway.

Still A Strike

Well last night i took us 4 hours to get home. Yes, You heard right, 4 hours of being trapped in a car with nowhere to go. watching headlights burn out from applied breaks all the time. I miss the subway. I miss reading on the subway. I miss being able to go places independently of other people. I am seriously considering buying a car. I have never wanted a car because I just condiser it a nuisance and it's so expensive. I am really looking forward to the weekend, i hope the strike is over by then.

In other news, my apartment complex is decorated to the max now. It looks so pretty. I wanted to take some pictures but being as I was too tired I couldn't do it last night. Maybe tonight. If I get home at a decent hour.

Floatinghead's Day Off

Yesterday I basically took the day off from work because of the transit stike. I'm not going to discuss it any further. I just have to wait until the whole thing blows over and we get back to normal. I actually contemplated getting a car today but it's too expensive. I really can't afford it. I was driven in to work by a worker today. We did a car pool thing that worked out pretty well.

I do have to report that I partially cleaned my apartment. I cleaned up a bit in the kitchen and cleaned the coffee table so that the Christmas decorations are not overwhelemed by everything else on the table. I also started growing Cher, the mini sunflower garden that the nemisis gave me for Christmas. Hopefully the seeds will grow nice and pretty since Lil'Fella is truly a disappointment and I think I'm going to through it out. I also sorted some of the laundry I had piled on the floor and actully washed the whites. Now I just have the laundry basket in the middle of the livingroom like all normal people. I wanted to fisnish up today but obviously I can't turn down a ride into work. I also made cookies for my maintanence people and gave it to them with a Christmas card, they were very excited and thankful that I thought to do that. I guess that was the whole point.

I will see how the commute back home is, I was told I was going home with the same people that I came in.

Transit Strike

I'm assuming all other blogs based out of New York will be basically reporting the same thing today. We Have no transportation! I have not made it a secret that I strongly dislike the mta the twu and all it's people, I know. I need to a make a few things clear.

The twu can argue it's point all it wants to, however their failure to be realistic is what gets to me. They should be more willing to go to negotiations with an intent to actually negotiate not have this all or nothing approach which is what I think they are doing. They want more money, so do i. They want the mta to not file grievances, i want to be paid to do nothing too. They want to leave the retirement age as is, i want to be able to retire. What most people don't get about this retirement stuff is that in most if not all cases, when at age 55 someone retires form the mta and start collecting their pension, they usually get a job somewhere else as well. so the get to collect the pension and have all the benefits, and work for another company taking a job from someone that needs it.

It's just not right for the poor people that work in new York to have to pay for the mta's big awful mistakes all the time. if the twu really wanted to do damage to the mta, why don't they let riders in for free. Becuase that will hurt the mta tons and it won't affect the riders. but it's all about squeezing that last dime from the pockets of those people that are not doing well to begin with.

I am ashamed that they can be so selfish and it saddens me that it comes to this. I hope this gets resolved as quickly as possible. Otherwise, I will lose the last bit of faith i have in people.

Zappening

Not much going on in my neck of the woods. I had a good weekend overall, just enough social time to rest time ratio. I went home on Friday night and basically did nothing but watch TV and talk on the phone with Mama Pickle. We barely get to talk anymore it seems since we are busy during the day and she doesn't sign on to Aim anymore.

Saturday I repotted Stuart and the plant that used to live in stephanie's fish bowl. I named the plant Lil' Fella since it looks like it really does not have the potential of coming back to life. I am giving it a try though, not giving up on the Lil' Fella just yet. I also have to pot my sunflower which the Nemisis gave me for Christmas. I read the instructions twice so I don't mess it up. So I have to soak something for 24 hours before I can plant it. Will update when I have more progress on that. I also went to GM's Holiday Mingle thing on Saturday night. It was just a few friends and some food. Nice distraction. I sent out my holiday cards as well. Just like 7 of them since I'm not sending them to everyone I know.

I have also decided to make some cookies for my maintanence people. I thought it would be nice to do that for the Holiday since I am not getting anyone presents this year. I have done no cleaining so don't ask about my apartment. it's still a mess.

Long Time Coming

I just figured out right now that I should really take my own advice. I keep giving people all this good advice and then when I ask then for some I get the same stuff back. They're like "you told me to do this, and it works". So maybe I should take my own advice from now on.

Life

I have more than I few comments to post especially about the MTA but I think I shouldn't focus on their stupidity today. I was supposed to go out tonight but I'm not sure if it's even going to happen. I for one am not for going out to day so it's one of those things where I would have to be notivated by my date. My date is being crappy and shady so I don't think it's going to happen.

I want to go to yoga again tomorrow, which means I would have to be in bed early. I forgot to mention that when I went to yoga on wednesday and this older man that was in front of the class kept breaking wind all through class. I thought it was funny but I had to hold in the laughter.

I started reading Memoirs of a Geisha becuase i want to read it before I see the movie. I finally finished the 100 years of solitude and it really felt like it took a hundred years to read. I have to keep practicing my spanish so that I can be a more effective reader.

Work is going good. Slowly, but good. I have to buy a present for my Secret Santa. It's hard being the new person because I don't know what people like. Gift Card! Always a good alternative. I have been oficially "labeled" at work too. Now I have my name on the outside of my work station. The openness of my cube is starting to bother me more and more each day. It's not a nice office like I had in the 7th circle of hell, it's a cube. I can deal with a cube but I can't deal with an open cube. I feel like I have to whisper all the time, and people walking about all the time is very distracting. The other day they just decided to congregate a few feet away, just chatting away without even thinking twice that people (and by people I mean me) are trying to work. So for a good 15 minutes I got nothing done. My manager Granma Rose discussed the possibility of getting me some walls with the facilities person but they said there are non available as of yet. I guess I''ll just have to deal.

Hatred...great way to start the day

So i figure I would start by discussing my total hatred of the MTA and its people as a whole. Yes, this is a very strong statement but honestly, I think it's well deserved. Just to think that they are threatening to strike again and during this time of year really burns me up.

So you want a raise huh? You want an 8% raise? Guess what....Noone in the city has gotten an 8% raise since 2000! Why do you feel you are so deserving. Us little guys have to deal with 3% increase if we even get one at all. And I'm sure you work hard,(Not!)but you don't pay to take the subway so maybe you should start doing that. So, not only do you get a raise, but you don't have to pay to get to work either. You know working at a hospital never gave me free access to healthcare all the time!.

So for the little people this means that in the very near future we will have to pay higher fares to get on the subway, paying for such fares with the same salaries we have been getting for the last 3 years since our companies can't afford to give us a raise.....

Did I mention that I hate the MTA....I took me an hour and 20 minutes to get to work today and I was frozen solid when I got here. I hope you all Transit Union people are home warm and toasty, don't count on my sympathy.

A la Floatinghead

It's so typical me to get all discombobulated for what seems like no reason at all. Why is it that I start to think about things and strategize my next move and outline how i want things to be all the time? Why can't I just sit back and enjoy the moment. Frankie says Relax! That is what I have to remember. According to Vudolicious, I'm losing the way of buddha. So I have to start reading up on that again, so that I can combobulate myself quickly.

My stove is being delivered today and I asked my mom to be there when it comes. I'm sure that by the time i get home I won't be able to find anything, as I'm absolutely sure that she will be rearranging my whole apartment. I'm also going to try to make it to yoga tonight, this all rests on how the stove thing goes and if i need to be there for anything afterwards.

My feelings of inadequacy have returned with a vengeance. Again I'm not sure why, but i'm pretty sure it has something to do with the fact that I'm adjusting to certain changes, and furthermore, even though I have plenty that I have done to be proud of this year, I still have this one area which I feel I am lacking in. I keep thinking to myself that anyone person cannot have all that they want when they want it, but I sure wish I could.

Weird

I noticed something yesterday and today here in the land that time forgot. I notice that I am the only one that constantly eats around here. Not like i eat a lot but still. I have breakfast, a snack. I go to lunch and I snack in the afternoon. It seems that noone else here eats. People just stay at their desk and I guess feeds off air all day. I notice a few people get coffee in the morning but that's about it. Now I wonder if they are really people. Maye Library people don't eat or worse of all drink water. I don't see that many people go to the water fountain either. I will continue to observe.

Bitter Cold

I feel much better today even though it's like zero degrees out. Last night I was supposed to see the Walmart Movie with Magie, the Nemisis and Vox but they had to work late so I went home. it was the best thing I did because I was so tired. I just got home and took a long hot shower, made myself some herbal tea and was in bed by 9:30pm. Warm and Toasty. I did wake up once because the phone rang but other than that I got plenty of rest which I needed badly.

In other news I need to clean my apartment. It's really getting to me this time. I have a pile of clothes which looks disgusting on the floor next to my bed. I just need to put it in the laundry bag but why is that such at task? It's not like a have tons of walking to do since i live in a new york city apartment. But anyway that's just one thing, I just have to clean the place so that I looks organized and smells like a meadow (if meadows smell like Lysol these days). So there you go that is my story, and i'm sticking to it. No plans for today.

Not so Peachy

it's monday and I am super irritated right now. i just don't feel like being here. I'm sleepy, tired and uncomfortable. Maybe it's because of lack of sleep. I really want to go home and sleep right now since I am having a hard time keeping my eyes open. I'm so crancky. I think I just need rest. And I don't understand why I get depressed too. Like last night I started to get depressed. I'm trying to push it to the back of my mind. It's not working.

Quick Overview

The weekend was good for me. In sum, Thai food - Good, Yoga - Good, Narnia - Good!, Shopping - Good. I finally bought the stove. It cost me a hefty chunk but everyone keeps telling me it's worth it. After buying the stove I felt a little nauseous spending sooo much money on a stove. So after that I did what any girl would do. I went shoe shopping and bought 2 pairs of shoes on sale. I know that doesn't help my bank account but it makes me feel better. At least I can where the shoes, I can't wear a stove now can I?

I had a dream last night that included Dr. Brain. As you may or may not know I am not really dating him anymore but I think I have unresolved issues that I need to address because that is what was happening in the dream. I'm not sure if I really need or want to talk to him though. I think I should just get over it and move on. We'll see how this plays out.

Read This

I was reading this article and thought it was interesting:

Spanish at school translates to suspension

I agree with the parent in this case. It's not like the kid was speaking spanish during class or requesting that classes be taught in spanish, it's just a comment in the hall way. You make up your own mind.

Let it Snow Let it Snow

It's Friday...WooHoo! I'm supposed to go out with Magpie and the Nemisis today, hopefully they won't change their minds because of the snow. We are going to get Thai food at a great restaurant I just tried last week.

Anyway, it's snowing real hard, we expect about 9 inches of snow. It looked really nice this morning when I looked out the window. The only day to enjoy the snow is actually the day tha it snows. After that then it just becomes slush and a nuisance. Enjoy it today if you can...me I'm at work already. It took me an hour and a half to get it. Mainly because you have to walk slower and the subway gets all messed up so you have to change your usual route. Speaking of work, i got my first paycheck today. Well I go my stub yesterday but it was deposited into my account today. Bigger check for me this time around and I'm contribution to my retirement plan too. I had stopped when I bought the apartment because I couldn't afford it. I looks like i'm back on track now.

Last Night

I took it upon myself to start Yoga again. I need to get into a routine and not let myself fall of the wagon again (or is it on the wagon? I never know what's what). So i went a bought myself a 20 class card that way I am committed no matter what. It also gives me a chance to get back to Manhattan, which as you know I miss dearly.

Since I haven't had a regular practice in about 6 months I'm starting slow and building back my strengh. I took a semi-into class and I felt good. I'm not completely unbalance but I am definately not the same as I used to be. Somehow, the teacher still managed to figure out that I knew more than I was leading on to know and made me do some demonstrations for the class. I'm glad I went though, it put some things back into perspective.

So far no plans for tonight but have plans for tomorrow and saturday, sunday is usually designated floatinghead rest day.

Observation

So the land that time forgot seems to be quite taken by the arrival of the Floatinghead. In sum, I think some people need to adjust and come to terms with the fact that I have boobs and that I can't hide them. I know it takes a while, but fact of the matter is, we work in Human Resources and if you stare enough it could be construed as sexual harrassment. I'm not saying anything really I think they just need an justment period. They'll get over it eventually.

Mourning the Loss

My beloved fish Stephanie died today. It was a freak accident I suppose. The nemisis was watching him during the transition period from one job to another. Although the nemisis feels very bad about this i told her she shouldn't worry because it was bound to happen, it was just his time to go.

I'm not sure if I will get a replacement fish. It's just a bit painful right now to think about it.Farewell dear stephanie, may you rest in peace.

And the depression continues

I wonder how long it will be before I snap out of this rut. For today I feel somewhat better after being completely and totally depressed all weekend long. For the most part it's little things that are adding up to my discombobulation. I lost my hat on Saturday night which put me over the edge. A little history - the hat that I have always worn during winter time belonged to my brother, he passed away when I was 7. It's not the fact the I lost the hat that gets me upset, it's the comfort that it brought to me. So now i feel like i'm missing yet another part of me which i can't replace. I was devasted and started crying in the cab on my way home. The cab driver instantly became driver/therapist on the spot. Another example of boys not being able to handle crying girls.

For the most part work went well today. i have plenty to do and have loads to think about. The fact of the matter is that they really haven't had a designated person doing this job, they just moved someone into the manager role because they needed a body. Now they've got themselves a specialist that is finding problems with everything. The only thing I'm not liking is the fact that my new boss keeps referring to me as "my assistant" which ticks me off. I'm not her assistant, i don't type for her, answer her phone or sort her mail. I'm biulding plans and programs and fixing mistakes and such. I guess she doesn't know of another way to tell people that I'm the benefits person that works with her and it's ok to come to me with questions and such.

By the way I need to clean up my apartment, it's been rather neglected because of my depression issues. I better get to it before I can't find myself here. I think cleaning will help my depression too, since it always makes me feel good when things are clean.

Also, since the year is coming to and end, i have also started working on my LISt for next year. This year went FABU since i completed 9 out of the 12 things I wanted to do. I shall update when I have the final list. For those of you that have decided to join we can keep each other motivated, just let me know.

A Floatinghead Grows in Brooklyn

Ok so now it's been like 4 days at my brand new job, and of course I have observations. I have choosen to call my new place of employment The land that time forgot, that's just for now. MainlY i was brought on board to revamp a whole lot of stuff and i'm beginning to see why. I like doing stuff like this so It's really good for me to be involved in creating and implementing and stuff.

For the most part everone is very nice and pleasant but I really really miss my friends, all of them. That's the only thing I miss from my old job, is the people. Oh, and the commute. My commute now is rough - mainly because of all the waiting. I mean just train time from my house to work is 40 minutes but all the waiting for this train and then the next connection to the other train makes it soooo much longer. The good thing is I get a seat on the subway so I basically put on my make up, eat breakfast (yes a whole breakfast) and read a book. Other than that no more news. I really miss my friends though, and the island of manhattan but i think this was meant to be in one way or another.